12/17/16 – Phuket, Thailand
Wake. Alarm didn't go off. Still drunk. Have one hour before international flight. Take a piss check out grab what I know of my shit throw it on a tuk tuk yell “$5 airport!” and takeoff. Guy says it's closed. Makes call. It's open. Get through an entire airport within less than ten minutes. Small airports are the fucking shit. Get on the flight. Australian dude with stained shirt gets on who I saw at bar last night. He is drunk and hollering at some girl next to him that he saw her on Tinder. Judging by the expression this is or isn't true.
Arrive Phuket. My main bitch Jeff Popko is waiting for me on his scooter outside the airport. I cling to him for an hour with my heavy ass bag zipping between traffic from one side of the island to the other. We pass a giant Samurai god and we are like “whatup Samurai god we'll be seeing you later.” Get to his cute little apartment with Adrienne and say whatup. Get some food and go shopping. Find a couple of sick ass matching tie-dye tank tops and head to the beach. Watch some happy people in love do a photo shoot and bros throwing frisbees for sunset over some beers mixed with fruit juice. Jeff hooks me up with his friend Gareth's place to sleep. Pass out.
12/18/19 – The Great Scooter Trip aka “KOH LAK 2016”
Wake. Rent a sick 150cc bad ass motorcycle scooter. Put on my tie-dye shirt and do a bunch of wheelies while burning out at the same time. Pack the essentials and take off out of town. We try to find giant Samurai god to worship and give us good luck but we passed him or he bounced or something. Ride a few hours. Try to go to waterfalls. The fuckers want $5 for a shitty waterfall. Nah. Keep driving. Stop for something to eat. Eat some shit. I left the lights on on my bike. Kill the battery. My sick dad scooter has no kick start. We have no idea what to do. Walk around asking people if they have jumper cables ( mimicking “jumper cables” to communicate) unsure if a car battery will melt a bike battery. Scoot over to the next town to ask hardware lady if she has jumper cables. Hardware lady is the shit and is like “no way you boys are fucked I don't know what you're trying to do but it's definitely impossible” and so Jeff and I are like “nah” and buy a screwdriver and start taking apart his bike to find the battery. The whole time this lady is just dumb founded by what two white boys are doing outside her shop taking apart a scooter and laughing and yelling “nooooo!” We eventually find the battery and buy a piece of appliance cord, strip it with a razor, and take it back to my scooter. We start tinkering with our scooters and now there's a possie of like a dozen Cambodians watching two white boys screw a piece of appliance cord between the battery of two bikes. We start my dead ass bike, give a big fuck yeah, flip off the haters, and ride away.
Ride just down the road to a beach Jeff found on the map called “Little Sandy Beach.” It's like $9 to get in but there's no one at the gate so nahh. Get to the cute beach and float around for a while while watching crabs make crazy designs in the sand. Talk about how smart and rich and hot we are. Jeff writes “KOH LAK 2016” in the sand like a boss. Get back on the bikes. Stop at a market and buy some shit like Thai pancakes and a fried tuna sandwich. Stop at another place and find non tinted glasses which is a must for night riding scooter trips. Drive a few hours through a city and into the mountains carving some windy roads in the dark. Get to the entrance of a national park called “Koh Sok.” As soon as we get into town Jeff's bike just sort of dies. Some locals come by to try to help but it's not starting. We pull it up the hill and leave it at some shop for the morning. We realize all of our misfortunes are to blame on our lack of respect for Samurai god. Find a bar, find a drink, find a hostel, which points us to a hotel. We have our own bungalow in a half fake jungle scene for $15. Pass out.
12/19/16
Wake. Jeff goes to check on his bike early morning. Mechanic 1 says there's water in the engine and it needs to go to a different shop. Jeff gets on his dead bike and I put my foot out and push his ass up a hill with my scooter and we only eat shit once. Get to next bike shop. Mechanic 2 says there's water in the engine and it needs to go to a different shop. They then say our options are letting them fix it or us paying some dude $45 to bring the bike into the closest city. We get a suspicious smell of bullshit and eat poached eggs to make our minds think gooder. We look up this “water in the engine” thing which doesn't make sense. We start walking around asking for rope so we one of us can tow the other bike to the city. No ones got rope. We start checking out vines to see if we could tow the bike down the windy roads with vines. As we are going to get a knife to cut the vines someone from our hotel says they will give us a ride for $15. We're like, yah.
Throw the bike in the back of the truck. Windy roads and misty looming limestone cliffs. Get to the city. Mechanic 3 says he can fix it, but it will be ten days, and he needs a part from Bangkok, and then immediately asks us how many days we have, and then says it will be at least $120 to fix it in the time we want, on the low end. We say fuck you. We ask driver if he can drive us an extra three hours to Phuket. He sort of laughs and directs us to mechanic 4. Mechanic 4 doesn't say much and start taking the bike apart right there. Fuck yeah. Jeff and I drink thirty cent Cokes and watch some bad ass mother fuckers, including a kid who looks like Rufio mixed with Thai James Dean, check every part of the bike. An hour later the bike is running with the report that, from what we could understand, the lack of oil it had had fucked some shit up and now there was gas coming out of a tube it shouldn't have been and soaking the carburetor, killing the bike. So get rid of the tube, bike works. Absolute fuck yes. Now we can drive off, and good thing we can, because our taxi driver just left us there, which they swore he wouldn't do. Oh well. Shred some gnar bizzaro world roads. It's dumping oil, but who cares. Arrive back in town. Little bit of light left in day. Hike to waterfall. Pretty uneventful minus a mediocre waterfall and some monkeys swinging between bamboo trees. Go to the reggae bar we went to the day before for Thai food. Watch some bros torture a big bug. Buy a bottle. Drink a bottle. Head out to find a cooler bar than shitty bropacker reggae bar. Head down the road a way. Arrive at the Khao Sok Karaoke Bar.
Scene: grassy yard on the corner with large stage boasting a big PA, lights, microphones, and even an unplugged electric guitar. The only people there is the family who runs it and some dude behind a laptop playing 80s hair metal from the stage. Jeff and I sit down at one of four tables, and pick the table right in the middle of the yard in front of the stage. A half drink in and I request Van Halen. A group of dudes roll in and Jeff is singing a karaoke song. The dudes sit at our table and we chat for a while. A group of middle aged (I think?) ladies roll in. We are trading off karaoke songs. One of the ladies get's Jeff to sing a better rendition of a Bob Marly song then I've ever seen any white kid with and acoustic guitar and dreads ever do. We are taking breaks to drink more whiskey out of our bikes. As we get lit the ladies are also getting lit and dancing real bad and hard to karaoke songs while pulling us up to dance with them and telling us they are single. We party for a while longer before it is time to get back on our bikes and rip it back home.
The power of the scooter gets to our heads and we decide it'd be a good idea to break into the national park. Passing through the small opening in the gate, Jeff and I now have access to perhaps hundreds of miles of hiking trails - on scooter. With only our headlights and the courage of whiskey we blast over roots and rocky hills that knock the wind out of our screaming and laughing. We drive a few miles until there is a cabin with a light on, and decide maybe it's not a good idea to try and go blasting by it in the middle of the night wasted in a national park. We turn back, exit the park without getting arrested, and pass out.
12/20/16
Wake. Time to go to the majestic lake of Koh Sok and eat acid. Ride for an hour and scoot the outskirts of a cloudy turquoise limestone cliff protruding lake. Reach the only port to this massive lake. Long boat bros trying to hustle and charge hella money. We say fuck this and turn around. Rain. Ride to what looks like a dirt road that might take us to another point in the lake. Ride almost all the way back to where we started. Along the way scope cliffs and caves and check resorts that want too much money. The road to the lake is cliff faces mud road that a 4x4 would have a hard time getting up. So we scooter up it. Go as long as we can until the scooters are unable to push further. Turn back. Stand on a plowed dirt flat looking toward a near sunset facing the fact they we blew a whole day looking for a place to do acid. We head back to the original town we started in and get a room at a cheap resort.
Sit. Drink. Eat the worst food I've had on the trip so far. Sit. Drink. Head to our room deck. Listen to the Weeknd. Drink. Can't win every time. Pass out.
12/21/16
Wake. Time to get back to Phuket. Shred. Try to go to waterfall. Every waterfall costs money and is full of tourist buses. Fuck it. Shred. Random side road. Drive through neighborhoods. Residential dead ends at cliff where a Chinese restaurant/worship place/hang spot sits dormant. In the back sits a bad ass cobra shrine. Jeff and I light some incense and do a prayer to Cobra God about kicking Samurai God's ass because he smited us and broke our bikes and he sucks and that we hope Cobra God will give us good luck for the trip home. Get to a cave park full of monkeys. Tight. Food. Shitty restaurant with plastic chairs and Thai people (the rules of finding good food.) Bomb ass noodles. Shred. Cop stop. Get told we need real licences to drive scooter but cop is like “nah it's cool anyway though shred on without a ticket.” Get to Phuket. Weave through and hour of crazy rush hour traffic where it looked like the closing door scene from Indiana Jones all of the time. Arrive Jeff's house unharmed. Word up and bless you Cobra God.
Eat some food and go to sauna bar to unwind. Get a hostel for the night a half hour across town. Pass out.
12/22/16 – Krabi, Thailand
Wake. Sit around and debate if I should wait for Rusty's ass to go to Krabi or just leave without him. Wait. Jeff and I scooter downtown to meet him. He has a bottle of Johnny Walker Blue he bought at duty free that we kill at a little plastic Thai joint. Miss the bus. Scooter to the pier. Try to buy a boat across the harbor. They want like $500 for a trip across the bay. Rusty Buys a taxi for like $60. Three hour trying not to puke car ride. Arrive Krabi. Meet up with Patrick and Coinbase crew. Go to shitty cover band bar. Go to club complex. First bar we get dragged into is full of bar garls trying to get us to buy them drinks in exchange for rubbing their junk up on your junk. Next bar is a club. Crazy cute Thai girl is dancing with me and touching me. I'm suspicious of everyone and don't understand what she wants. She takes off without saying anything after ten minutes. Weird. Meet a Chinese girl Kate living in San Diego. Within ten minutes we are walking down to the beach to go for a swim. Get naked. Swim in bioluminescent algae for possibly a mile with some stolen booies until we reach a parked yacht. Someone is on the yacht but we already spent an hour swimming so we get on the yacht. Sneak onto the top deck without the guy hearing us somehow. Bang on the top deck of the yacht. Swim back.
Get to beach. Our clothes with phones and wallets are gone. Walk around for an hour naked. Ask a person early morning prepping if he has seen my clothes. Within a minute there's about six people trying to understand me and looking for my clothes while I have only a burlap sack over my dick. They give us trash bags to wear. Step in the right direction. We are wearing trash bags and keep looking. Give up. On the way out we stop at another resort and ask if they have seen our clothes. They, no shit, while we are only wearing trash bags, say “what did your clothes look like?” I pause for a second, look at them, still drunk and totally thrown off guard say “Black.... did you find clothes on the beach???” They take out a plastic bag full of clothes. I start screaming. We put our clothes while I'm still screaming at 6am and everyone is looking at us and laughing. The first bit of sun spills across the water and outlines the massive cliffs that I see for the first time. Fucking. Magic.
Squeeze onto a scooter taxi. Get to my hostel. I take out my wallet. My money is gone. I can't be bothered to care because I have my debit card and phone. Find money. Say goodbye to Kate. Pass out.
12/23/16
Wake. Don't remember details. I do remember getting on the back of a scooter with Rusty who was riding for the first time and it was easily the most dangerous thing I've done on the entire trip. Got to good breakfast. Go to get a boat to check out limestone island cliffs. We are too late and only get an hour and a half at a beach only reachable by boat. Try to find a lagoon. Lagoon turns into treacherous jungle mud slide hike with vertical climbing parts. The ropes to help you get down are covered in mud and slippery. Make it to lagoon. Swim in gross lagoon to celebrate. Get back on boat. Go back to Krabi. Too exhausted to party. At some point Rusty goes full speed across the street and crashes directly into a parked car. Pass out.
12/24/16
Need to get to Malaysia to see Penang and Kuala Lumpur. Have four days. Buy bus ticket in the morning to Penang. Minibus picks me up. Brings me to station. A truck picks me up from station and brings me to another station. I get to the bus station and ask the guy “Bus to Penang?” Guy says “Your ticket is to Koh Pinang.” I say “FUCKER SOLD ME THE WRONG TICKET.” They all laugh. I'm pissed. I'm stuck in Krabi an extra day.
Walk around bummed. Buy plane ticket first thing in the morning to Kuala Lumpur. Check into hostel downtown. Get scooter. Go for long scooter ride to calm me down. Middle of nowhere Muslim market with smells I've never smelt. Get to some cliffs. Go on cliff hike to sunset beach. Hang out with monkeys that you can walk right up to for a while. Head back to hostel. Pass out.
Wake. Alarm didn't go off. Still drunk. Have one hour before international flight. Take a piss check out grab what I know of my shit throw it on a tuk tuk yell “$5 airport!” and takeoff. Guy says it's closed. Makes call. It's open. Get through an entire airport within less than ten minutes. Small airports are the fucking shit. Get on the flight. Australian dude with stained shirt gets on who I saw at bar last night. He is drunk and hollering at some girl next to him that he saw her on Tinder. Judging by the expression this is or isn't true.
Arrive Phuket. My main bitch Jeff Popko is waiting for me on his scooter outside the airport. I cling to him for an hour with my heavy ass bag zipping between traffic from one side of the island to the other. We pass a giant Samurai god and we are like “whatup Samurai god we'll be seeing you later.” Get to his cute little apartment with Adrienne and say whatup. Get some food and go shopping. Find a couple of sick ass matching tie-dye tank tops and head to the beach. Watch some happy people in love do a photo shoot and bros throwing frisbees for sunset over some beers mixed with fruit juice. Jeff hooks me up with his friend Gareth's place to sleep. Pass out.
12/18/19 – The Great Scooter Trip aka “KOH LAK 2016”
Wake. Rent a sick 150cc bad ass motorcycle scooter. Put on my tie-dye shirt and do a bunch of wheelies while burning out at the same time. Pack the essentials and take off out of town. We try to find giant Samurai god to worship and give us good luck but we passed him or he bounced or something. Ride a few hours. Try to go to waterfalls. The fuckers want $5 for a shitty waterfall. Nah. Keep driving. Stop for something to eat. Eat some shit. I left the lights on on my bike. Kill the battery. My sick dad scooter has no kick start. We have no idea what to do. Walk around asking people if they have jumper cables ( mimicking “jumper cables” to communicate) unsure if a car battery will melt a bike battery. Scoot over to the next town to ask hardware lady if she has jumper cables. Hardware lady is the shit and is like “no way you boys are fucked I don't know what you're trying to do but it's definitely impossible” and so Jeff and I are like “nah” and buy a screwdriver and start taking apart his bike to find the battery. The whole time this lady is just dumb founded by what two white boys are doing outside her shop taking apart a scooter and laughing and yelling “nooooo!” We eventually find the battery and buy a piece of appliance cord, strip it with a razor, and take it back to my scooter. We start tinkering with our scooters and now there's a possie of like a dozen Cambodians watching two white boys screw a piece of appliance cord between the battery of two bikes. We start my dead ass bike, give a big fuck yeah, flip off the haters, and ride away.
Ride just down the road to a beach Jeff found on the map called “Little Sandy Beach.” It's like $9 to get in but there's no one at the gate so nahh. Get to the cute beach and float around for a while while watching crabs make crazy designs in the sand. Talk about how smart and rich and hot we are. Jeff writes “KOH LAK 2016” in the sand like a boss. Get back on the bikes. Stop at a market and buy some shit like Thai pancakes and a fried tuna sandwich. Stop at another place and find non tinted glasses which is a must for night riding scooter trips. Drive a few hours through a city and into the mountains carving some windy roads in the dark. Get to the entrance of a national park called “Koh Sok.” As soon as we get into town Jeff's bike just sort of dies. Some locals come by to try to help but it's not starting. We pull it up the hill and leave it at some shop for the morning. We realize all of our misfortunes are to blame on our lack of respect for Samurai god. Find a bar, find a drink, find a hostel, which points us to a hotel. We have our own bungalow in a half fake jungle scene for $15. Pass out.
12/19/16
Wake. Jeff goes to check on his bike early morning. Mechanic 1 says there's water in the engine and it needs to go to a different shop. Jeff gets on his dead bike and I put my foot out and push his ass up a hill with my scooter and we only eat shit once. Get to next bike shop. Mechanic 2 says there's water in the engine and it needs to go to a different shop. They then say our options are letting them fix it or us paying some dude $45 to bring the bike into the closest city. We get a suspicious smell of bullshit and eat poached eggs to make our minds think gooder. We look up this “water in the engine” thing which doesn't make sense. We start walking around asking for rope so we one of us can tow the other bike to the city. No ones got rope. We start checking out vines to see if we could tow the bike down the windy roads with vines. As we are going to get a knife to cut the vines someone from our hotel says they will give us a ride for $15. We're like, yah.
Throw the bike in the back of the truck. Windy roads and misty looming limestone cliffs. Get to the city. Mechanic 3 says he can fix it, but it will be ten days, and he needs a part from Bangkok, and then immediately asks us how many days we have, and then says it will be at least $120 to fix it in the time we want, on the low end. We say fuck you. We ask driver if he can drive us an extra three hours to Phuket. He sort of laughs and directs us to mechanic 4. Mechanic 4 doesn't say much and start taking the bike apart right there. Fuck yeah. Jeff and I drink thirty cent Cokes and watch some bad ass mother fuckers, including a kid who looks like Rufio mixed with Thai James Dean, check every part of the bike. An hour later the bike is running with the report that, from what we could understand, the lack of oil it had had fucked some shit up and now there was gas coming out of a tube it shouldn't have been and soaking the carburetor, killing the bike. So get rid of the tube, bike works. Absolute fuck yes. Now we can drive off, and good thing we can, because our taxi driver just left us there, which they swore he wouldn't do. Oh well. Shred some gnar bizzaro world roads. It's dumping oil, but who cares. Arrive back in town. Little bit of light left in day. Hike to waterfall. Pretty uneventful minus a mediocre waterfall and some monkeys swinging between bamboo trees. Go to the reggae bar we went to the day before for Thai food. Watch some bros torture a big bug. Buy a bottle. Drink a bottle. Head out to find a cooler bar than shitty bropacker reggae bar. Head down the road a way. Arrive at the Khao Sok Karaoke Bar.
Scene: grassy yard on the corner with large stage boasting a big PA, lights, microphones, and even an unplugged electric guitar. The only people there is the family who runs it and some dude behind a laptop playing 80s hair metal from the stage. Jeff and I sit down at one of four tables, and pick the table right in the middle of the yard in front of the stage. A half drink in and I request Van Halen. A group of dudes roll in and Jeff is singing a karaoke song. The dudes sit at our table and we chat for a while. A group of middle aged (I think?) ladies roll in. We are trading off karaoke songs. One of the ladies get's Jeff to sing a better rendition of a Bob Marly song then I've ever seen any white kid with and acoustic guitar and dreads ever do. We are taking breaks to drink more whiskey out of our bikes. As we get lit the ladies are also getting lit and dancing real bad and hard to karaoke songs while pulling us up to dance with them and telling us they are single. We party for a while longer before it is time to get back on our bikes and rip it back home.
The power of the scooter gets to our heads and we decide it'd be a good idea to break into the national park. Passing through the small opening in the gate, Jeff and I now have access to perhaps hundreds of miles of hiking trails - on scooter. With only our headlights and the courage of whiskey we blast over roots and rocky hills that knock the wind out of our screaming and laughing. We drive a few miles until there is a cabin with a light on, and decide maybe it's not a good idea to try and go blasting by it in the middle of the night wasted in a national park. We turn back, exit the park without getting arrested, and pass out.
12/20/16
Wake. Time to go to the majestic lake of Koh Sok and eat acid. Ride for an hour and scoot the outskirts of a cloudy turquoise limestone cliff protruding lake. Reach the only port to this massive lake. Long boat bros trying to hustle and charge hella money. We say fuck this and turn around. Rain. Ride to what looks like a dirt road that might take us to another point in the lake. Ride almost all the way back to where we started. Along the way scope cliffs and caves and check resorts that want too much money. The road to the lake is cliff faces mud road that a 4x4 would have a hard time getting up. So we scooter up it. Go as long as we can until the scooters are unable to push further. Turn back. Stand on a plowed dirt flat looking toward a near sunset facing the fact they we blew a whole day looking for a place to do acid. We head back to the original town we started in and get a room at a cheap resort.
Sit. Drink. Eat the worst food I've had on the trip so far. Sit. Drink. Head to our room deck. Listen to the Weeknd. Drink. Can't win every time. Pass out.
12/21/16
Wake. Time to get back to Phuket. Shred. Try to go to waterfall. Every waterfall costs money and is full of tourist buses. Fuck it. Shred. Random side road. Drive through neighborhoods. Residential dead ends at cliff where a Chinese restaurant/worship place/hang spot sits dormant. In the back sits a bad ass cobra shrine. Jeff and I light some incense and do a prayer to Cobra God about kicking Samurai God's ass because he smited us and broke our bikes and he sucks and that we hope Cobra God will give us good luck for the trip home. Get to a cave park full of monkeys. Tight. Food. Shitty restaurant with plastic chairs and Thai people (the rules of finding good food.) Bomb ass noodles. Shred. Cop stop. Get told we need real licences to drive scooter but cop is like “nah it's cool anyway though shred on without a ticket.” Get to Phuket. Weave through and hour of crazy rush hour traffic where it looked like the closing door scene from Indiana Jones all of the time. Arrive Jeff's house unharmed. Word up and bless you Cobra God.
Eat some food and go to sauna bar to unwind. Get a hostel for the night a half hour across town. Pass out.
12/22/16 – Krabi, Thailand
Wake. Sit around and debate if I should wait for Rusty's ass to go to Krabi or just leave without him. Wait. Jeff and I scooter downtown to meet him. He has a bottle of Johnny Walker Blue he bought at duty free that we kill at a little plastic Thai joint. Miss the bus. Scooter to the pier. Try to buy a boat across the harbor. They want like $500 for a trip across the bay. Rusty Buys a taxi for like $60. Three hour trying not to puke car ride. Arrive Krabi. Meet up with Patrick and Coinbase crew. Go to shitty cover band bar. Go to club complex. First bar we get dragged into is full of bar garls trying to get us to buy them drinks in exchange for rubbing their junk up on your junk. Next bar is a club. Crazy cute Thai girl is dancing with me and touching me. I'm suspicious of everyone and don't understand what she wants. She takes off without saying anything after ten minutes. Weird. Meet a Chinese girl Kate living in San Diego. Within ten minutes we are walking down to the beach to go for a swim. Get naked. Swim in bioluminescent algae for possibly a mile with some stolen booies until we reach a parked yacht. Someone is on the yacht but we already spent an hour swimming so we get on the yacht. Sneak onto the top deck without the guy hearing us somehow. Bang on the top deck of the yacht. Swim back.
Get to beach. Our clothes with phones and wallets are gone. Walk around for an hour naked. Ask a person early morning prepping if he has seen my clothes. Within a minute there's about six people trying to understand me and looking for my clothes while I have only a burlap sack over my dick. They give us trash bags to wear. Step in the right direction. We are wearing trash bags and keep looking. Give up. On the way out we stop at another resort and ask if they have seen our clothes. They, no shit, while we are only wearing trash bags, say “what did your clothes look like?” I pause for a second, look at them, still drunk and totally thrown off guard say “Black.... did you find clothes on the beach???” They take out a plastic bag full of clothes. I start screaming. We put our clothes while I'm still screaming at 6am and everyone is looking at us and laughing. The first bit of sun spills across the water and outlines the massive cliffs that I see for the first time. Fucking. Magic.
Squeeze onto a scooter taxi. Get to my hostel. I take out my wallet. My money is gone. I can't be bothered to care because I have my debit card and phone. Find money. Say goodbye to Kate. Pass out.
12/23/16
Wake. Don't remember details. I do remember getting on the back of a scooter with Rusty who was riding for the first time and it was easily the most dangerous thing I've done on the entire trip. Got to good breakfast. Go to get a boat to check out limestone island cliffs. We are too late and only get an hour and a half at a beach only reachable by boat. Try to find a lagoon. Lagoon turns into treacherous jungle mud slide hike with vertical climbing parts. The ropes to help you get down are covered in mud and slippery. Make it to lagoon. Swim in gross lagoon to celebrate. Get back on boat. Go back to Krabi. Too exhausted to party. At some point Rusty goes full speed across the street and crashes directly into a parked car. Pass out.
12/24/16
Need to get to Malaysia to see Penang and Kuala Lumpur. Have four days. Buy bus ticket in the morning to Penang. Minibus picks me up. Brings me to station. A truck picks me up from station and brings me to another station. I get to the bus station and ask the guy “Bus to Penang?” Guy says “Your ticket is to Koh Pinang.” I say “FUCKER SOLD ME THE WRONG TICKET.” They all laugh. I'm pissed. I'm stuck in Krabi an extra day.
Walk around bummed. Buy plane ticket first thing in the morning to Kuala Lumpur. Check into hostel downtown. Get scooter. Go for long scooter ride to calm me down. Middle of nowhere Muslim market with smells I've never smelt. Get to some cliffs. Go on cliff hike to sunset beach. Hang out with monkeys that you can walk right up to for a while. Head back to hostel. Pass out.
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