Suesca, and San Gil, Colombia

Fri 1/29 - Suesca, Colombia

Wake. Get like half the errands Darly needs to get done done. Colombian women, am I right? Go to Suesca. Town two hours from Bogota. Check into hostel. Meet back with Frenchy Thomas. Talk loud for a while about all the crazy drugs and weird times we had in Cali and ruin most everyone’s time who is there for quite at the hostel. Watch some movie called Wild that was just fucking terrible. It’s like a story of some girl hiking the Pacific Coast Trail by herself but they realized how boring of a movie that would make so they made her a heroine sex addict whose mother dies of cancer. Fuuuuucking lame. Pass out

Sat 1/30

Wake. Four hour climbing tour. Walk down train tracks and there is endless cliffs off to one side with people climbing all over. The ingenuity and free market entrepreneurship of South America has led to a couple dudes building a cart that sits on the train tracks and acts as a taxi that the push - cast system revival. Climb. Mostly easy routes except for one challenging fun one and then another that was way too hard and fuck face was too busy talking on his phone rather than actually belaying me and telling me what was on the other side of the fucking overhang, dick. Meet Thomas who has prepared us a delicious rice and slop lunch and then pack supplies including fishing gear and head out for an afternoon acid trip with acid we bought in Medellin.

Acid summary: Walk tracks until no more people. Walk down to river. Lay out all of our water and snacks and beer. 4:30pm: Eat acid. 4:35p: Drink beer and smoke cigarette. 4:45p: Make fishing rods. 4:55p: Sit fishing and waiting. 5:15p: still fishing and waiting, no fish. 5:30p: have put rocks on fishing rods because it’s boring, no fish, no acid. 5:45p: maybe feeling something? no fish. 6:00p: sun is going down, give up, walk back to town. Tracks and cliffs are looking pretty, but could just be all the beers we drank. 6:15p: Sit on grass and look at water because maybe acid is working. 6:20p: We go to take the last hit and a half, Darly examines acid, concludes they are pieces of the gum boxes that the Medellin drug dealers sold.

Just so bummed and proven so stupid. Walk back to hostel. Get annihilated. Three bottles of liquor and a few dozen beers. Spilling beer allll over the hostel. Staci Helms texts me out of nowhere asking what happened to our relationship so I pass the phone around and let everyone who is drunk say whatever they want. Steal slice of cake. Steal second slice of cake. Cake and beer all over the bedroom. Pass out.

Sun 1/31

Wake up. Hostel is still a mess. Manager is asking about cake. Darly and I just have sex all morning instead of confront the people we have hurt. Eat a veggie burger that is literally refried beans and guacamole inside a hamburger bun. Depart Suesca. Arrive Bogota. Staying in her friend's house. Go to meal that ends up costing almost thirty dollars for two people - which is outrageous. Cutesy couple time warp uninteresting shit. Pass out.

Mon 2/1

Wake up. Leaving to Villa de Leyva. Meeting Maria from fancy jazz club at bus terminal. Giant mall Exito. Mall nachos. Meet. She shows me she brought acid. Yessss. Bus to Villa de Leyva. Cute colonial town with massive square. Every house is now shops selling colorful blankets and hats and key chains and bullshit. Expensive restaurants. Touristy. Get cute little room. Immediately start drinking in front of store. Talk about radical politics, conceptual art, our past efforts to make progressive change through various projects, recent pessimisms, manifestos, and fizzling doom. Talk about how much shit has changed in Colombia for the worst in the past five years. She is interesting but she sure is sad. Walk around town for a bit. Rich vacation homes. Hip wealthy yuppie arts community (think Taos). Bottle of Aguardiente. Drunk. Back to room. Bang. Pass out.

Tues 2/2

Wake bang. Lay in bed. More sad talk (I can't decide if I prefer to hang with the hopelessly aware or ignorant, dumb, and happy anymore.) The plan is to go into nature and do the acid today. I really don’t want to. Try to think of excuses for why I don’t want to do the acid with her, and then after buy the acid off of her so I can meet back up with Thomas and do it. Check messages. Call Jeff. Eddie is dead. Second time I’ve gotten news of friends death on this trip. Second time I’ve cried in bed with some girl I don’t know. Everything is fucking terrible. Good excuse not to do acid. Buy a bunch of beers and start drinking immediately. Bus out of town. Hitchhike a pickup to the waterfall. Walk around forever in crazy heat trying to find waterfall. Find entrance. Lady charges us money. Motherfuckers who own waterfalls… Waterfall is almost waterless. Drought. Sit next to almost empty waterfall and drink warm beer for Eddie. Float in the dirty water below. Farmer says it’s the worst he has ever seen it since he moved here in thirty years. The world is ending. My friend is dead. I paid for this.

Return to Villa de Leyva. Look for cheap restaurant with vegetarian food for forty five minutes. Find pretty dank cheese and vegetable empanada shop with lots of sauces. Mm. Walk to hotel. I tell her the whole story about what me and Frenchy Thomas have gone through to find acid, our trials and failures, and sure of my pity story and the sympathy of any human who has half a heart I say “hey… so can I buy that acid off you?” She says “No.” I try to do more convincing. She says “No.” Go to cafe. Don’t talk to her for like two hours. Realize I’m being a real shitty person by being so upset with someone because they won’t give me drugs. Back in front of store. Keep drinking. Talking about more sad shit. Bored. Getting late. She says “So… do you want to do acid?” I say “Guhhhhh…. Yes.” Eat acid.

10:30p: Feel weird. 11:00p: Feel weird, shaky, vision is a little blurry. 11:30p: Still only feel weird, shaky, vision blurry. She is telling me she believes in telepathy. I tell her we need to walk. Walk down some dark dirt roads. Giggily. Cactus is looking a little juicy. But nothing much. 12:00p: Go to bar. There is a guy playing shitty bag pipes outside. Escape by going into bar. Korn and Evanescence on TV. Acid nightmare. Have beer. Escape to room. Very long cool acid sex. Phil Collins. Pass out.

Wed 2/3 - San Gil, Colombia

Wake. Leaving. Maria goes to Bogota. I go to San Gil to meet Frenchy Thomas. Not a very sad goodbye. Bus takes twice as long because it stops in every town ever for forever. San Gil. Small city. Thomas and I drink some beers. Tell stories. Make food. Pass out.

Thurs 2/4

Wake up early. Buy some beers. Head to little town close by called Curiti. Mototaxi down long dirt road. Hike up turquoise river.Different pools and rocks and cliffs you can jump off. Gorgeous. Cigarettes and beers. Meet some father and daughter looking people. Turns out they are actually girlfriend and boyfriend. Ew. But they are cool. Give us a ride back to San Gil. Bus to waterfall. Takes and extra hour because construction. Lady charges us to go to waterfall. Mother fuckers owning waterfalls... Waterfall is sort of waterless. Pretty for five minutes. Jump into it. Leave. Head back to hostel. Make some food. Pass out.

 

 

Fri 2/5

Wake. Go to cute little colonial town nearby set in massive valley. Walk a “famous path” that is about ninety five degrees and made of shitty pointy stones instead of going to swim again fuck you Thomas. Stop for cold beer at some old ladies house half way. Return colonial town for pastries and ice cream. Return hostel. Our hostel is boring and cheap so we go to the nicest hostel and use their pool. Drink some beers and harass the guests. Catch a twelve hour bus to Barranquilla on the coast for Carnaval. I read the Wiki page for Carnaval. Explains it is fifteen hundred years old and celebrates the end of a conservative winter. It is preparation for lent and is a time for excessive eating, drinking, and promiscuous sex. I’m excited. Pass out.